Thinking about moving.
I just can't take all the crazy here anymore. I got my disbilaty now so i am helping out with the money stuff here. But i have been felling like i am paying for 3 familys in sted of 1 yea i know i said i would help out my mom and step dad and i have been. now with my brother and his gf and her kid living with us i am paying for them too! don't get me wrong or anything i love them but mom works all the time and step dad pays some of the bills and i help with some of them and i do Alot of the hose work not there lander and there room stuff. But what do my brother and family do ....nothing yea i know she finelly got back to work and all and she just now stared helping pay rent but still they dont do nothing i do the dishes and the sweeping and the trash and the dusting and the cans. my brother said he would do the trash and the cans yea he did them once!!! they don't even offer to do the dishes or anything i am sooo ....uagggggg.... so i told my mom and step dad i am thinking about moive which i am bigggg time i mean i have lived here going on 12 years!!! i know the state said i could no be bye my self but damn it. I just can't take too much more of it. Mom and step dad told me to hold off untill i get back from vegas soo i will try to and thats in feb. now i am packing to go see my father! ~@~@~ i know right the man who told me on the day that i got my diploma that he could haved loved me if i was a boy!! well he is turing the big 50 on the 29 an i plan to go up to MD to see if he is half dead yet! Like i told him when he said that it takes any BOY to have a kid but it takes a MAN to raise a child and he didn't so he is only my father and my daddy is Mert McCartney (RIP DADDY) he raise me from 6 monts old till i was 10 he is my daddy and now my step dad has earn the name now cause he raise me the rest of the way from 13 on and man can i say he had it tought. When i was a teenager i was pure hell!!! now i am a young adult all of 25 going on 26 in jan the 8 i resiled what he went thowe i alot. I know i sometimes go off into my own little world but that some of what my dis. is. But i know he trys to take care of me and trys to help out my brother but you can not help people that just don't want to help them seleves. Soo thats why i need to just go some weres to find myself not amy, matts disable sis . or mom little medcated child. i need to find out who i am, what i am , what i want in life and what i want in a life mate. Hell i have only dated 2 guys in my whole life the 1st one died in a car acced when we were 15 the 2 one beat the hell out of me and put me in the hospital just cause i would not sleep with him... i me hello he was not the one i could see marrying or spend my life with. yea i been kised and yea i have done other stuff with them but i want to find the one that i could give all of me to . YES i am a V. no i don't care if people know . yea if i have that itch i can srach it my self. yea i might be bi i have no clue if i am or not. I think females are beatful no matter what size! I just need time away from every one who thinks they know me and has this idea of who i am . They can't know me cause i Don't even know myself. So if any one knows a great place to go and just think at in the USA near the east coast please let me know so i have some ideas of places i can go to find myself! thanks all for listing to me rant.